predicament

they say brides-to-be are always stressed out with all the preparation for the big day.. i say, i'm stressed out because i try too hard to please the people around me... come to think of it, sometimes i really wonder if its my wedding afterall.. its difficult when you have family members being part of the preparation process, coz you can't be a bitch and remain strangers when its all done and over with..

not like i want to be a bitch, but sometimes i would prefer some things the way i like, the way i know i will feel comfortable.. afterall, who knows my body best if not myself? why make a dress that reveals so much of something that you don't have and can't flaunt? its not that i'm being picky or fussy, but its something i know best for myself... its like asking a fat girl to put on a skimpy cat suit.. yes, the designer can make the cuttings and style to make you look slim, but would you? would you put on a skimpy tight cat suit if you know your fats are buldging everywhere? would you put on a deep cut across your bosom, when you don't have the assets, and will only further enhance the "emptiness"?

i know sometimes i have to trust the designers, since it is their job and profession to be able to bring out the best in us.. but, can or might they be wrong sometimes? didn't the recent prewedding photos turn out looking fat, with a shocking large bum?

i try too hard to please everyone around me, so hard that most of the times when i have an objection, i just suck it back down into my guts...afraid that i will end up being labelled a fussy bitch, if not already am, for god-knows-what-reason..